Conflicts are part and parcel of every couple’s life. Avoiding the conflicts is recommended but almost impossible. Since conflicts are inevitable, the approaches to make truce after the conflicts are equally important. To resolve a disagreement via discussion takes lots of planning and preparation beforehand. Unfortunately, these approaches all blow to the wind if the discussion is carried out during the moment of heat. At that moment both persons are trying to establish their own point of views and are in a rebellious mood. Hence these discussions are best saved for a later time when mind is cool and brain is functioning logically.
When people are calm and at peace, they are able to reflect on things on a much more impersonal level and identify the faults and guilt committed by them. Once a person is aware of his own short comings he is open to accommodate the other person’s point of view without getting defensive. This opens the door for discussion where past differences can be settled and issues can be resolved. The timing of discussion must be chosen such that both persons are ready to listen to each other and come to a point of agreement.
It takes a lot of courage to admit one’s fault and agree on a discussion to put an end to problems. It is important after a fight to find out the reasons of the problem and resolve them. If the issues are not taken care of properly and just ignored for the time being, they will later come out with much more vengeance and a happy relationship will get marred by the same problems again and again. Instead of letting the problems manifest and concentrating on the momentary peace, proper resolution is a must.
To resolve the issues effectively, both persons must come out with their problems with complete honesty. If anything is hidden, that issue will get overlooked. So no matter how sensitive the problem is, it must be confessed properly. It is also important that the persons listen to each other’s problems with an open mind. Sometimes listening to the problems carefully can unearth several unknown facets about someone’s partner. Many times it happen that people misinterpret actions and behaviours of their partners as something else than they actually are. So what comes across as jealousy might actually be insecurity and what comes across anger might actually be call for more attention. These deep rooted problems can only be found and taken care of by uninhibited, honest and open discussion.
There is nothing better than knowing one’s partner like an open book and accepting that person just the way he/she is. Being afraid of imaginary deficiencies can only ruin a person’s life and the relationship. If not discussed and handled properly, each peaceful moment after a fight is a false one and will not take much time to crumble. To make the bonding strong, the partners must address each problem, no problem how small, to avoid serious differences in the future.
Avoiding a conflict is easy, facing and resolving it is much more difficult. But if people can control their anger and aggressive emotions for some time and then have an honest open discussion with their partners, any relation will again breathe freely.